We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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