Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
