Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
