took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
