I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize