just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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