yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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