the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
