I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
