when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
