I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
