Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
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You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
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I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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