Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I hate all girls vehemently.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
