He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize