escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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