Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
