I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize