So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
