Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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