Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
