Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
