Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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