Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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