Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
