In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
two words: eviction party
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
