idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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