Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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