I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
