Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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