smell my finger.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
