saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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