I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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