I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I believe in your delicious
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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