At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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