Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
as a side note pls kill me
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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