drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
