What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
