i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
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