yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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