His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize