im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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