Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
