You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
