Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
