Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
