first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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