The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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