he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
