I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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