was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Randomize
