Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
