Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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