I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
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