I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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