Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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