I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
