you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
