HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
