Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
